


The F Word

by WritingSoul



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU, Crack Fic, F/M, I don't know, This was rushed, also kaito is briefly mentioned but, also the pairing is only mentioned kinda, cursing, doing the stuff, eh not really, i had a whim so, i wrote, kaede laughs her ass off about it, oh well, ouma's great when he's not y'know, ouma: this is a CALLOUT, saimatsu is slowly consuming me, seriously i loved writing this, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 19:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12260826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingSoul/pseuds/WritingSoul
Summary: Saihara says a bad word. Ouma calls him out on it. Kaede just keeps laughing.





	The F Word

Shuichi sighed, sitting down in the break room with his co workers. They’d had a so-called “training day” for new employees today - and honestly, he just wanted to go home. 

If he was being honest with himself, the new employees were starting to annoy him. He’d been working in retail behind the scenes for 8 years -  but no! The new people always thought that they knew best. 

He sighed, slumping against the chair as his girlfriend - Kaede - patted his back. “There, there. You just have to do this for today and then shadow the others tomorrow.” 

Shuichi sighed. “I know….it’s just….ugh…” 

Kaede nodded sagely. “I feel you.” 

Despite his anger, he smiled up at her knowingly. “Do you really?” 

The blonde pursed her lips. “Shuichi - we’ve lived together for a year now. Yes, I think I feel you.” 

He laughed, resting his head on the cool surface of the table. “Why do I even work in retail, anyway?” He huffed, which was so uncharacteristic that Kaede had to laugh. 

Saihara blushed. “Hey! Stop laughing at me!” He said, going pink in the cheeks. 

To which, Kaede laughed harder. 

One of their coworkers drifted over to them, looking down at them. 

“Oh my, my, what is Ms. Akamatsu laughing at now?” 

Shuichi lifted his head, took a good look at the excited face of their coworker (who’s name was Kokichi Ouma), and promptly dropped his head back to the table. 

Ouma frowned, eyes training on Shuichi’s defeated form. 

“Heeeey…..Shuichi…..hey! Heeeey! Shuichiii!!!!” 

Their purple haired coworker proceeded to poke him while repeating his name, to which Kaede giggled, trying her best not to laugh - but not being able to help it. 

Meanwhile, Saihara progressively got more and more annoyed with Ouma. 

He was just going to ignore him. 

He wasn’t going to say a word. 

The tapping increased. 

Nope. 

He wasn’t going to say anything. 

No way, no how. 

“Maybe if I imitate Kaede it’ll work?” He thought aloud to himself. “Oh~ Shuichi-kun~” 

Kaede’s giggling ceased as she pouted, cheeks flushing. 

“I do not sound like that!” 

“Do too!” 

“Do not!” 

“Do too! You’re all like, ‘Oh, Shuichi-kun, hold me in your big arms!’” 

Saihara squeezed his eyes shut. He felt a migraine coming on, and he was not about to listen to Ouma have the satisfaction of giving him one. 

“ _ Ouma.”  _ He hissed in a deadly low voice, “ _ What the  _ fuck  _ do you want?”  _

His cheeks went pink as he processed what he just said. “O-oh, I’m sorry…” 

Ouma gasped. “Did you just say….the F word?” 

“Is that really what you’re focused on?” Kaede asked from beside him. 

“No, no, no, you don’t understand! This completely changes his character arc!” Ouma said, biting down on his thumbnail. 

“Yo! What’s goin’ on over here?” A blonde girl said, walking over to them. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and wore the signature purple shirt that all workers were required to wear. “And why does shorty look like he’s about to pop a boner?” 

Ouma looked as if he might faint. “Miu...he...he said the F word!” 

Miu blinked, visibly taken aback. “H-huh?” 

“He said it,” Kokichi whispered, “The sacred no-no word…. _ fuck. _

Miu smirked. “Yeah, I bet Kaede gets a whole earful of that, huh?” 

Kaede never got to respond, because Ouma had climbed up on the table. “Everyone! Everyone please quiet down, I have a big announcement.” 

In spite of it all, Kaede laughed as Shuichi let out a sigh. 

“This man, Shuichi Saihara - has said the F word!” 

Faux scandalized gasps went up all around the room. “Oh god!” One said. 

“Shuichi-san, how could you do this?!” Another asked. 

“Everyone, everyone, please calm down! I have a way to solve this! On the count of three, you’re all going to shame him like kindergarteners collectively. Ready? 3….2...1!” 

A chorus of “Ooooooooo, that’s a bad word!” rung out around the room, one of the voices being Kaede’s. 

“Traitor.” He mumbled. 

But, he was smiling. 

Who knew that he could make a room of adults revert back to kindergarteners with a single word? 

He sure didn’t.

* * *

 

Afterward, Kaede and Kaito (his best friend) would not stop laughing about it. It was clear they would never let it go. 

And that was the day that Shuichi Saihara promised himself that he would never say the word fuck in public again. 

**Author's Note:**

> so this was a whim that i had   
> basically i was like "what if my innocent boy said fuck" and then this happened  
> i rushed this and i think it's actually pretty ok for being a crack fic  
> because it was semi in-character  
> anyway, maybe leave a comment and let me know what you thought? thank you for reading! <3


End file.
